I don’t know why I think I am special and smart enough to learn everything I need to know the first time I hear or experience something. Not saying I am not special or smart but life doesn’t always give you all you need to overcome a challenge in one go. If it were the case, it wouldn’t take us nine months to prepare for having a child, or a lifetime to figure out how to be a better human being.
However, I do hate those moments when I have what is tantamount to deja vu but it’s really the light bulb shining in my eyes and a voice asking Why are you here again? Those moments usually begin with shame as I feel like a failure and my own voice telling me I should have gotten my life together by now. This issue, this recurring theme should no longer be one I, Nerissa Golden, super mom and awesome human being should be having. By now I should have written a book about it to tell someone else how to get their act together. But NO. Here is Nerissa still about to make another round of this particular mountain.
I may not have conquered the mountain yet, but I am better at pulling myself out of those mental jams rather than diving head first into the deep dark mire of depression, self-recriminations and shame. Yes I have been here before but I never stayed there. Where I am now may look familiar but I have grown so much since the last pass at this particular mountain and I will get over it. This time I have better equipment and I know who I can call on to support me through this journey.
So you may feel as if you’ve been this way before and it may not have ended as well as you wanted to last time but guess what, you’ve got the goods to come out on top this time. Every journey before has made you stronger for this one. Believe.
Love and blessings.