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Hey, Fearless One,

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are you living the life you want or working with what has been handed to you?

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And before you answer, let me make that question a little more specific.

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When you look at how you spend your days,

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the work you do,

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the relationships you maintain,

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and the things you keep postponing, do you recognize yourself?

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Is there room for the person God created you to be?

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Or have you become so good at being who everybody needs

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that you have stopped asking what you need?

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Today, I want us to talk about designing a life we love.

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A life that reflects our identity,

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makes room for our gifts, and allows us to do meaningful work.

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A life we can participate in with intention, even while some things remain beyond our control.

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By the age of 12, I had probably changed my dream job a thousand times.

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I considered medicine.

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Being a fighter pilot was on the list.

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I was a big Top Gun fan and the men in uniform certainly helped.

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And somewhere in there was becoming a news reporter.

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That last one never really came off the list.

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Years later,

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when I was considering leaving my role as a journalist at a I sensed

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the Lord telling me that I would always be in the news business,

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the good news business.

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At the time, I felt called towards entrepreneurship.

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I was also doing community work,

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and I wasn't sure what shape my working life would take,

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but that understanding gave me something to carry into the uncertainty.

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The role would change.

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The assignment to communicate something good, useful, and uplifting would continue.

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Looking back,

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I can see that thread running through my work,

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writing,

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speaking,

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encouraging people to pursue what God has called them to do,

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helping businesses communicate their value,

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creating opportunities for people to see possibilities they may not have recognized

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before.

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The work has shown up in different forms, but at its heart has been this message.

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God loves you and there is meaningful work you can do with what he has placed within you.

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That thread has helped me make decisions, especially when I couldn't see the whole picture.

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Perhaps you need to find your thread again.

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This year has been one of redefining the goal,

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discovering new dreams and dusting off some old ones.

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It has also involved shaking off beliefs and attachments that were still binding me to the past.

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That is not a comfortable exercise.

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Some days I felt like a chameleon changing color every few hours.

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I would get comfortable with one possibility, then another question would surface.

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Do I still want this?

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Did I ever want it or did I become good at doing it?

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Am I holding on because it matters or because I don't know who I would be without it?

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If you have ever gained or lost weight,

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you know what it is to reach for something in your wardrobe

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and realize it no longer fits.

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You might be popping buttons.

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You might be swimming in fabric.

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Either way, there comes a point when you have to acknowledge the body you have today.

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Our lives can reach that point too.

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A schedule that worked five years ago may be exhausting you now.

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A business model that helped you get started may no longer support the work you want to do.

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A definition of success you inherited may feel increasingly expensive to maintain.

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Sometimes the discomfort is telling you that something needs attention.

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Before you force yourself back into the old shape, ask whether it is time to make an adjustment.

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You can be grateful for a season and And still recognize that it is ending.

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In the fearless framework, we begin always with blessed.

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That is your identity.

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Who did God create me to be?

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That question matters because it is easy to design a life around comparison.

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You see someone traveling,

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launching a business,

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getting married,

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buying a home or receiving recognition,

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and suddenly their life becomes the measuring stick for yours.

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But you are seeing an outcome.

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You may know very little about the responsibilities,

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sacrifices and private realities attached to it.

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Before you decide what you want your life to look like,

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spend some time considering what you want it to express.

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What do you value?

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What matters enough for you to make room for it?

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What kind of person do you want to be in your home, your work and your community?

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For me, understanding that good news would remain part of my work became a filter.

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Public relations,

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social media,

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business development and writing could all fit within that understanding.

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I could use those roles to inform, encourage and help people move forward.

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It also helped me recognize work that would pull me away from my values.

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You need something deeper than an impressive title to guide your decisions.

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Titles change.

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Organizations change.

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Your capacity changes.

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An understanding of your identity gives you somewhere to return when those changes come.

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And remember this, you are already loved by God while you are figuring things out.

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You do not have to earn that love by producing a perfect plan.

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I have been choosing to see this transition that many women experience in their 40s

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and 50s as an opportunity to pay attention.

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As for how many of those symptoms on the perimenopause list I relate to?

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Too many.

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I can acknowledge the discomfort and still ask what this season is making me notice.

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Where am I tired?

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What have I been tolerating?

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What do I need support with?

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What would I like the next part of my life to hold?

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We often hear the phrase midlife crisis,

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but we can begin asking honest questions before everything reaches a crisis.

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We can make room for change while continuing to honor our responsibilities.

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One of the gifts of getting older is perspective.

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We have lived long enough to see where some choices lead.

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We can recognize patterns and decide which ones we want to continue.

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That includes patterns we inherited.

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We can appreciate our parents' sacrifices and acknowledge what hurt us.

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We can forgive what they did not know while choosing to learn what we need to know.

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Many were working with limited options, limited support and the examples available to them.

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We have an opportunity to make different decisions about family, love, money, work and success.

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We can ask for help.

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Learn new skills.

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Have conversations that were avoided in previous generations.

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Romans 12 says,

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And be not conformed to this world,

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but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind,

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that ye may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

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That gives us a practical place to begin, examining the beliefs that shape our daily choices.

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If you believe rest must always be earned through exhaustion,

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you will struggle to make room for it.

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If you believe your value depends on being needed,

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setting a boundary may feel like losing yourself.

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If you believe it is too late to begin,

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you may dismiss a possibility before you have explored it.

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What belief keeps making decisions on your behalf and does it still deserve that authority?

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The second part of the fearless framework is fruitful.

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What seed has God placed within you and how are you caring for it?

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We can become so focused on what is missing that we overlook what is already present.

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There may be a skill you have barely developed,

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an interest you keep dismissing,

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experience that could help someone else, a gift that has very little room to grow.

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Designing a life you love involves making space for those things.

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It also means broadening how you recognize meaningful work.

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Meaningful work may not come with an impressive job title or salary.

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Consider a school.

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The principal and the cleaner carry different responsibilities,

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but both contribute to the school functioning well.

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The principal provides leadership and helps staff and students work towards their goals.

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The cleaner helps maintain an environment where people learn and work.

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If that cleaning stops, its importance becomes obvious very quickly.

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We should be careful about allowing status to determine whose contribution we value,

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and we should extend that same care to ourselves.

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Your current job may pay your bills while you develop something else.

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It may provide stability during a demanding season.

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It may give you opportunities to care for and meet people

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that you would never have encountered elsewhere.

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You can honor that contribution and still desire change.

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Perhaps you are a nurse who sings in a community choir.

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Perhaps you work at a petrol station and mentor young people.

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Perhaps you are raising children while slowly building a business.

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Your gifts can find expression in more than one place.

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The practical question is,

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The practical question is,

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where could you give something within you a little more room?

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Could you practice for an hour each week?

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Take a course?

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Join a group?

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Complete the first piece of work?

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A seed needs attention over time.

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Give yourself a realistic way to begin.

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The third part of the framework is Multiply.

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How do I create value for others and expand what has been given to me?

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When we imagine a life we love, we often begin with what we want to experience.

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More freedom, more peace, better relationships, financial stability, travel, a home we enjoy.

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Those are worth considering.

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Alongside them, ask what you want to contribute.

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Who benefits when you use your gifts well?

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What problem could you help solve?

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What could become easier, clearer, or more hopeful because you showed up?

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For me, the good news thread has shaped how I use my voice.

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Social media gives us plenty of opportunities to criticize, provoke, and tear down.

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I can choose to use that access to inform and empower.

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That choice needs to be reflected in my behavior consistently.

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This is also at the heart of personal branding.

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People come to understand what you stand for through what they experience of you,

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how you communicate,

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how you treat people, the work you accept, the commitments you keep.

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Over time, consistency can help people recognize opportunities that suit you.

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Clarity does not guarantee that every door will open.

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It does make it easier to explain your value and recognize a good fit.

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You spend less energy trying to become whatever each opportunity demands.

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You ask, does this allow me to contribute in a way I believe in?

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The fourth part of the framework is dominion.

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How do I responsibly manage, lead, influence and build?

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This is where our desires meet the diary, the budget and the commitments we have already made.

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If you want more time with your family, Something may need to change in your schedule.

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If you want a healthier business you may need clearer pricing, better systems or support.

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If you want to write a book you need some protected writing time.

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If you want rest you may have to address the habit of agreeing to everything.

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A desire becomes more useful when you give it practical support.

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Here is a simple example.

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Think about an ordinary week in the life you want to build.

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How do you want your mornings to feel?

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How do you want your mornings to feel?

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What work are you doing?

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Who has access to your time?

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Where do friendship, movement, prayer, creativity, and rest fit?

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What responsibilities are you carrying and what help do you need?

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Then compare that picture with your current week.

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Choose one gap you can begin to address.

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Perhaps it is an evening you protect,

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a conversation about sharing responsibilities,

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a savings plan,

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an appointment you have postponed,

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a commitment you need to finish before accepting another.

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You do not need to redesign everything today.

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You do need to give your priorities somewhere to live.

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What happens when the life you want seems far away from the responsibilities you have?

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This is where we need honesty and compassion.

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You may be caring for children or an aging parent.

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You may be recovering from illness, rebuilding after divorce, or managing a loss of income.

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Some seasons offer very little flexibility.

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We should acknowledge that without deciding that our desires no longer matter.

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Ask yourself,

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What is possible within this season and what would help create more room over time?

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Perhaps leaving a job is not possible today, but updating your CV is.

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Perhaps launching a business needs to wait, but speaking to potential customers can begin today.

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Perhaps a long break is beyond reach,

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but someone could help you protect a regular period of rest.

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Some goals need to be approached in stages.

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Some need to change.

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A goal changing does not automatically mean you have failed.

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You may have learned something important about yourself,

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your responsibilities, or the cost involved.

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When you review a goal, ask whether it still serves the life you are trying to build.

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You are allowed to answer honestly.

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You are allowed to change your mind.

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I believe in being intentional.

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I also know we cannot plan every meaningful part of life.

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There is space between what we can do and what we cannot make happen.

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That is where trust matters.

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We can prepare, act, and remain open to God's direction.

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We can make plans while acknowledging that we do not yet know everything.

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Discover a skill.

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Learn that a route is unsuitable.

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Find an opportunity you could not have predicted.

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Pay attention as you move and let trusted people walk with you.

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Share your goal with someone who can encourage you.

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Pray with you and ask useful questions.

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Choose someone who can celebrate your progress and speak honestly

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when your actions are moving away from what you say matters.

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You do not need an audience for every stage of becoming.

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You do need support.

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Gratitude helps me recognize the good that is already here.

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It brings my attention back to what I have received,

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what I have learned, and who has stood beside me.

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It does not remove disappointment or require me to pretend a difficult situation is acceptable.

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I can be thankful for provision and still work towards financial change.

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I can appreciate what a role has taught me and still prepare to leave it.

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I can acknowledge progress while admitting that I need help.

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When our attention stays fixed on what has not happened,

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we can miss the life taking place around us.

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Make room to notice it.

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The conversation that encouraged you.

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The boundary you finally kept.

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The work you completed.

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The quiet afternoon.

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The person who showed up.

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There is something to receive today, even while you are building towards tomorrow.

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Before we close, I want to leave you with five questions.

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Write them down and give yourself time to answer.

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Where does my current life feel out of alignment with who I am and what I value?

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What do I want to keep and what needs to change?

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Which gift or desire needs more room to develop?

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What responsibility needs a clearer plan or more support?

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What is one action I can take in the next seven days?

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Choose an action you can recognize when it is done.

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Make the call.

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Put the time in your diary.

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Complete the application.

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Review the budget.

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Have the conversation.

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If you are reading Live Fail Less, bring these questions into that reflection too.

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Consider how your understanding of who you are is shaping the choices you make.

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In Philippians 3 verses 13 and 14, Paul says,

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As you move forward, consider what you need to stop carrying from the past.

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Keep the wisdom, receive the healing and support you need.

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Allow yourself to take another step.

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A life you love will still require work, adjustment, and courage.

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There will be days that disappoint you and responsibilities that stretch you.

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There can also be joy, purpose, friendship, meaningful contribution, and room to grow.

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Return to the fail-less framework.

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Blessed.

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Remember who you are.

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Fruitful.

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Develop what God has placed within you.

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Multiply.

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Use it to create value for others.

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Dominion.

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Steward your life and responsibilities with intention.

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You may not be able to change everything today.

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You can begin paying attention.

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You can make one decision that supports the life you want to build.

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And as you move, allow yourself to enjoy what is good along the way.

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You are loved, blessed, and highly favored.

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Live Fearless.

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Thank you for listening to Fearless One with Nerissa Golden.

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For more resources or to get in touch, head to nerissagolden.com.