Blog - Show Up For Yourself

My early morning Choose Your Hard post hit hard enough that a couple of women reached out to me through DMs.

This is what I wrote.

Choose your hard.
Hard 1 – Exercising, Cost and time of growing and/or preparing healthier foods to keep your body well fed and running at optimum.

Hard 2 – Finding the money for surgeries, doctor’s visits, a lifetime of living on medication.

Hard 1 – Taking the time to plan your online and offline strategy, developing products, writing a book, building solid relationships

Hard 2 – Wondering how you will pay the bills, stressing over your lack of clients, remaining invisible when you want to be shining, feeling dissatisfied with your achievements.

Choose Your Hard!

A friend and I were speaking about how tough this. Her hard is different than mine. She loves working out. I am not interested in sweating for the greater good or a tight behind. She is struggling with adulting and showing up for herself so she can achieve the goals she wants. I struggle with believing that showing up will work in my favor. I would prefer to hide.

God gives us grace for the hard things.

That is what I told her. It is what I know to be true.

We don’t have to do the hard things alone. I’m not talking about taking on everyone’s burdens and responsibilities. You need to put those down and let them pull their own weight and handle their own business. You need to mind your business.

What many of us find hard is putting ourselves and our dreams first. Women are expected to put ourselves last. The children, the parents, the spouse or significant other, or the job, come first.

You may have conquered self care and have regularly scheduled facials, massages, and the like. But, are you showing up for yourself in managing your health and finances, promoting your business, writing the book or making the changes to build generational wealth?

What’s Your Hard?

You deserve to achieve your goals. You deserve to see the things you work on manifest into bigger and greater than you can imagine. But they will not happen without consistent effort on that goal. You must show up for yourself.

Black people love to move on to the next good thing. We want to keep it moving. I don’t think any of us want a life that reminds us of slavery.

*Sounds of Blackness sang:

Sun up to sundown, pickin’ that cotton
Sun up to sundown, whipped by the massa
Sun up to sundown, chains and shackles
No more auction block for me.

The drudgery of showing up for ourselves every day feels like that. Every day, doing the same thing over and over, no end in sight but death.

Are you getting what I am saying?

It doesn’t need to be drudgery. The reason slavery worked for the owners was that they had a ready pool of bodies to work their fields and produce day in and day out, the cotton which was woven into clothing to be sold, the cane fields which produced millions of tons of sugar to be shipped to Europe.

Wealth is built by being consistent and repetitive. We see consistency and repetition as boredom and slavery.

You pick the outcome. Work for someone else and receive a salary. Remember to save some, give some and invest some. Or, you could work for yourself and build your wealth that way. Which ever way you choose, being repetitive and consistent is what will bring you results.

Wealthy people know this as the compound effect. Over time, small and repeated actions bring you massive results as they are doubled over and over.

How will you show up for yourself?

I’ve compiled just a few of the ones mentioned in my conversations this morning. You may have conquered these and need to show up in other ways. Tell me in the comments.

  • Self care activities – A spa day
  • Exercising regularly – Hiring a coach to keep you accountable
  • Saying No
  • Painting your toe nails weekly
  • Making your bed
  • Cleaning your room/house
  • Unpacking your suitcase
  • Balancing your checkbook – Setting up a savings account and other financial products
  • Planning your social media content
  • Journaling
  • Working in your garden

In my new book Start, Grow, Thrive: Build a Business to Last, Kyle struggles with the boredom of running a business. I hope you purchase a copy to discover how he overcomes this. It is available on