Rachel scrolled through her Facebook feed, liking and sharing, liking and sharing but paused as she came upon another congratulations to me post from her friend Melanie. Why was this girl always winning? How come she had the perfect body, the perfect husband, and those dang perfect kids who always seemed to come out on top? It was another reminder of her own failures. Her failed marriage, the child who was in and out of jail and her own body who was failing her, seemingly attracting illnesses at will.
If you’ve spent any time on the social media platform Facebook then you would know that even the most secure of us can feel as if we’re not succeeding or doing much when we see the very edited lives of our contacts/friends. We mistakenly believe that we are seeing their lives in all its glory, forgetting they have the power to only show us the good parts. We can photoshop and edit our lives to perfection.
Some days you may wish you could do that in the real world. Edit out the bad memories, relive a situation where you would have the perfect comeback, bump into that guy you were crushing on and be the witty self you only seem to be after several edits on social media.
But we don’t get to do that. We can only work with what we’ve been given and find the best way to make it work for us.
It will only work for you because you decide to make it. Everything in life comes down to a decision.
You can spend your time wishing for Melanie’s life or you can work on your own and fix the situations that are causing you pain.
But that only works for the Melanie’s of the world, you say. Well you haven’t even tried. You keep liking and sharing, liking and sharing rather than getting up with a plan of how to turn your situation around.
At some stage you must engage with your life, your body, your child. How did I get in this shape? When did I stop being able to communicate to my son or spouse and how do I fix this?
Ask the hard questions and accept the tough answers.
Melanie has her own issues and her imperfections she hasn’t put on Facebook. You can’t live your life comparing it to others. There will always be someone who looks like they have it more together than you. In the same breath, someone is wishing all they had were your troubles.
During the course of life we get to know shame and regret. We get into places that feel awkward and unfulfilling. We come face to face with fears and we learn to believe that we are unworthy of the best. Even without the help of others we put on robes of condemnation and doubt. We embrace messages of our own unworthiness and we begin to manifest the same in our lives.
Judging your life by Melanie’s successes or the murky reflection staring back at you won’t get you to victory.
In my own journey, the only solution which continues to bring me victory is to keep my eyes on Jesus. He alone is the perfect example I seek to emulate. Understanding the gift of grace, which he gives, makes it possible for me to believe I can have the life I desire. He alone stands in the gap of my memories and mistakes that stick around to make me feel forever unworthy of blessings and love. Left to my own devices, shame covers me, regret paralyses me and self hate blinds me.
When that Facebook feed shouts at me that I’m not winning, I remind myself that Jesus paid the price for my victory and success; God is my forever love, my peace and my supply. Then I turn it off and get to work on making my dreams come true.